Viewpoints Workshop with GreyZelda

Please join GreyZelda for a three-session Viewpoints workshop taking place Saturdays on July 25, August 1 and August 8 from 11am to 2pm at the Dance Chicago Center. Any person with any level of experience, from beginner to advanced, is encouraged to attend! The first session will be an Introduction/Review of the Viewpoints including games and open viewpoints. The second session will focus on open viewpoints and some composition work. During the third session, we will use the work of Tom Waits to dig in and really see what we can create! Our goal is to both create performance pieces and play.

The cost is $20.00 for all three sessions. If you’re not able to make all the sessions, that’s fine as long as you’re able to attend the first session on July 25th.

Participants need to come dressed to move, preferably in flexible, close fitting clothing so the teacher can see the participant’s form when creating.

Participants need to have a memorized two to three sentence piece of text to work on for the first session. The text may be a section of monologue, song lyrics, self-penned, etc.

The workshop will take place at:

Dance Chicago Center
Alphonsus Academy & Center for the Arts, 3rd Floor
1439 West Wellington
Chicago, IL 60657
Directions: One block west of Southport, between Wellington and Oakdale
Public transit: Accessible by El train: take the Brown line to the Southport stop and walk south to school's entrance at Oakdale.

We have room for 20 participants. Please contact Rebecca Zellar to enroll at r_zellar06@yahoo.com or 773-610-9249.

Human Nature

A Must Read for Reviewers Everywhere from Parabasis: Click Here.

And, in other news ... I'm feeling very melancholy after watching Michael's Memorial Service. I'm sure I'm projecting the losses we've had this year onto this, but ... I do feel verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves while watching this:

GreyZelda Meeting - July 12, 2009

We're going to be having a GreyZelda meeting on July 12th at 7pm. Our pad. Email me for address details. We'll be touching base with people after taking quite a hiatus (it's been over a year since we've talked about anything GreyZelda related) after the birth of Ms. Clara. She'll be a year old in August and I think it's high time to start collaborating again and seeing what's next.

GreyZelda 2.0.

I'd like to talk about a new website, a new mission, a wish list for the company, a five year plan, new brand initiative, fund-raising, building committees, membership, etc. Basically, the works.

You're welcome to join us, if you'd like to get more involved with the company or just to see what we're all about.

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to getting everybody (old and new) together to talk about my favorite theatre company.

Rock and roll.

Online Book Club

I'm thinking of creating an online book club so that I could have discussions about great literature with friends near and far. I'm taking a look at some different online forums but if you, dear readers, have suggestions as to a good place to start, I'd love to hear it. Should we do the standard message board thing? Create a blog with a few different team members and we could have discussions in the comment section? Should we create a yahoo groups?

Let me know if you'd be interested and your preferred way of talking about something literary.

I think this will be fun. Slightly geeky, but, hell, I ain't ashamed of being a geek.

*Update: I formed a book club through google. Come join us!

Answers to the Questions DV Poses

The Devilvet asks some intriguing questions about collaboration on this day. Here are my answers:

In what ways do you express your enthusiasm for the process while in its midst?

Most of my enthusiasm goes to the collaborators involved with the show. I want to create a positive, fun, giving and receiving environment for our actors, designers, etc. If I can spread my enthusiasm for the project to those directly involved, it's my hope that they will let everyone and their mother know about the project because they'll be proud enough of the show to help get people in the seats.

Specifically? I am very vocal when I love something that's happening in the rehearsal or a design being presented. I physically show my enthusiasm and loudly proclaim how awesome it is. And I will repeat myself as many times as necessary so people know that I'm serious about it. I'm not always enthusiastic so when something truly gets me going, you know it. Positivity combined with clear, specific feedback does wonders for an acting environment.

Do you take it for granted that everyone is enjoying your contributions?

I don't. I'm paranoid enough to think that people might not be enjoying my contributions and might very well think I'm being a psycho hose beast. I try to check in with everyone as much as possible to make sure everyone is enjoying the process and, if they're not or there's disconnect somewhere, I do my best to communicate with everyone about whatever problem we're having ... especially if I'm the cause of it. I have, in the past, become quite indignant that people weren't having as good of a time as I would have liked them to have. We can't pay our collaborators much so if people think they're having a terrible experience, it really bothers me and I personally think I've failed the ensemble and the project.

Do you send out emails when interesting ideas and directions occur to you?

No, not really. If we're in the process, I'd rather just talk to them before or after rehearsal. Or, if need be, call them on the phone between times. I have communicated via email with actors early on in the process to talk about their characters, but I'd really rather save that talk for rehearsal. It can be helpful, but I'd rather see the ideas set in motion as soon as possible to see if they're a go or not. I once worked with a director who would send emails a couple of hours after rehearsal with acting notes and blocking ideas. I thought it was a passive aggressive move. I didn't understand why we couldn't have the conversation in person.

If we're between shows or on hiatus, as it were, I sometimes will email people about things GreyZelda might do in the future to see what people think about it. Most of the time, I just brainstorm with Chris whenever he's feeling like talking about the theatre company.

Do you sit on them for a while and only present them when face to face?

I can't say I sit on things for a while. In fact, I'm too impulsive for my own good and will often feel that whatever idea has popped into my head needs to be acted on immediately or else it'll drive me crazy. These impulses have gotten me in trouble on occasion, especially if they've been driven by anger. If anger is the ignition, I've learned to sit on those ideas for a bit.

Do you pull folks aside and whisper in their ear?

If we're in the middle of the scene and I'd like the actor to play around with different motivations, I'll pull them aside and give them a direction so their scene partner can't hear and will be surprised when the actor returns to the scene. I like the secrecy of the game.

Do you insist on voicing concerns immediately?

Yes. Unless fueled by anger as stated earlier. It's best to try to be as zen-like as possible when dealing with people and collaborators.

If you concede, when do you?

I rarely argue with an actor unless the actor is telling me how to do my job. But, in the end, I'll concede to an actor. If a lot of collateral damage is being done because I won't concede and it's hurting the ensemble as well as the company, I'll concede.

If you don't, how do you manage it?

By being an indignant, stubborn bastard who should know better. Really, in the end, it's better to concede. Unless, it makes you physically ill to concede. Then, don't. Embrace the all powerful motto of "Fuck it." Or the even more aggressive "Fuck them and the donkeys they rode in on." Whatever works for you. But, really, it is best to concede. There are many things I haven't conceded on and don't see myself doing so in the near future, but ... when it comes to your collaborators, you really should. Unless they need to be booted because they're not doing anything positive for the company. In that case, tell them to get the fuck out.

Are you the kind of person who thinks that once the metaphor of conflict arises the game is lost?

I really like to have everyone get along and if someone really crosses the line, I feel very sad about it because I know we can't go back from it unless one of us gives up a little something of ourselves. I do feel a sense of loss when this happens. I think that things can be fixed with a lot of communication, empathy and understanding, but, in my experience, it takes a certain kind of person to accomplish that and move forward without remembering the conflict that once was. I do try to move forward, if possible, but I do, truly, hate the conflict and rarely work with those who consistently brought the conflict into the process again. And, the feeling is probably mutual from those who thought I brought the conflict.

Do you secretly enjoy/need opposition in order to establish your own position?

Oh no. I hate it in an artistic process. I prefer everyone maintaining their professionalism and not behaving like assholes. If we can all avoid being assholes ourselves, the whole thing will be so lovely to work on and we'll all walk away from it feeling good about the months we spent working on something.

Love is in the Air

Updates on GZ peeps in regards to la-la-la-la-love.

Ms. Melissa Kuhlmann and Mr. Tom Gordon are now Mr. and Mrs. Tom and Melissa Gordon as of May 23rd of this fine year. They were married in Oxford, OH on the Kuhlmann farm and Chris, Gene, Clara and yours truly were there to witness their nuptials. Welcome to the Married Life, dear friends!



And, speaking of dear friends getting hitched ... Ms. Lisa Wilson and Mr. Dave McCaul are now engaged to be married as of yesterday. Lisa just gave me a call to tell me and I am extremely happy and excited for them.

TO

I know you probably already know this y'know, but I just wanted to let you know that RZ posts about life outside of the theatah over at Terroristic Optimism.

Life Stepping Forward

Thank you to everyone who called, texted, sent cards, emails, flowers, plants, etc. We arrived in Chicago at 8am yesterday morning after an 18 hour car ride back from Texas and are going about figuring out how to deal with the rest of our lives without Chris's mom being a part of the picture. Though she will be a part of the picture because we'll remember her and talk about her and, if need be, talk to her and we'll tell Clara all about her and how her grandmother loved her with all her heart and still does.

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I just spilled coffee over the desk. I am a chronic spiller of things.

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I wanted to share Neil Gaiman's recent blog post with you because he talks about creativity and how the urge strikes and how it doesn't in response to a fan's question about their sense of entitlement when they're not getting their next book fast enough. Here's a bit of it that I really loved:

You don't choose what will work. You simply do the best you can each time. And you try to do what you can to increase the likelihood that good art will be created.

And sometimes, and it's as true of authors as it is of readers, you have a life. People in your world get sick or die. You fall in love, or out of love. You move house. Your aunt comes to stay. You agreed to give a talk half-way around the world five years ago, and suddenly you realise that that talk is due now. Your last book comes out and the critics vociferously hated it and now you simply don't feel like writing another. Your cat learns to levitate and the matter must be properly documented and investigated. There are deer in the apple orchard. A thunderstorm fries your hard disk and fries the backup drive as well...

And life is a good thing for a writer. It's where we get our raw material, for a start. We quite like to stop and watch it.

....

I just wanted to you know that Chris's mom passed away early this morning. We're going to be driving down to Texas later today. I won't be online much, if at all, so if anyone needs to reach us, we'll have our cell phones on us.

Take care and give your families lots of love.

Rebecca

A Hearty BB Congratulations!!!!

Ms. Brenda Barrie, one of the most lovely, emotionally raw actresses we've had the pleasure to work with, was nominated by the Jeff Committee for Best Actress in a Principal Role for her title role in Lifeline's Mariette in Ecstasy (which we didn't get a chance to see ... with this little one in the house, we don't get out much. We heard nothing but wonderful things about her work in it.) Congratulations to BB. She helped originate the role of Fanny Hooe in our play, The Thimbleberry Gallows which was produced back in 2005 at Stage Left. She is a gal who is beautiful inside and out, and this nomination has been a long time coming because I've thought she's one of the best actresses in Chicago for quite some time now.



That's Brenda as Fanny and my dearest husband as Henry.

A hearty congratulations to Nick Keenan of New Leaf for his Best Sound Design nod as well. I haven't met Nick in person yet, but I appreciate his work and words. He seems like a very swell guy and we're happy for him.

Where Have All the Ladies Gone?

I read through a gamut of blogs on a daily basis. Blogs about theatre, blogs about my friends' lives wherever they may be, blogs about celebrity gossip. It fills the hours and distracts the mind for a few brief minutes.

A lot of times I'll run into an entry that strikes the nerves of the readers and a huge comment battle ensues. I've noticed, as of late, that it seems like only men get into the exchanges on a lot of the theatre discussions, particularly. Why is that? Why are we women backing off lately?

I can only speak for myself but I've definitely backed off from getting into philosophical discussions with the guys online. I realized it was making me emotionally weary and, at the same time, bored and irritated after a huge exchange happened last year during the run of The Skriker. So, I really forced myself away from engaging on a daily basis. I was still reading the theatre blogs, but I didn't want to join in the discussions anymore. I was also pregnant and realized that I needed to focus my attentions on becoming Clara's mom and needed to provide a calm internal environment for her to take root and grow in. To not only grow, but to thrive. By constantly bristling and getting my moods in ever present craws, I imagined that I was creating a craggly nest for my sweet girl to float in.

Once I backed off and became used to that, I realized that my comments didn't seem to aid the discussion. The talks appeared to retread the same issues and, to be quite honest, started to reek of a lot of hot air and wind. Like the air on a plane, always recycling and starting to stink a little.

I wanted to focus on my family and my life. That hasn't changed 8 months after Clara's birth. I feel that if I engage and share my energy in the sniping, in the verbal castigation and masturbation, in the pettiness of the individual's GREAT IDEA, which negates everyone else's GREAT IDEAS, then I would be doing a disservice to the loveliness of my day to day life and the wonder that greets each morning with a brand new person taking in everything for the first time.

I gotta say though, boys. I'm tired of seeing the same names and hearing the same voices day after day. I scrolled through Scott Walter's big 75 comments blog the other day and only saw one lady saying something and that was at the beginning of the comment run. Where have all the lady bloggers and commenters gone? I know they're out there reading but they're staying mum and I'm not sure why. Any ideas?

Houston on the Flip Side

GreyZelda recently took the Flip Video people up on their non-profit deal, scoring two Flip Video Cameras for theatre, artistic and what-have-you use. Chris took his along to Dave Lykin's concert on April 9th at Sylvie's and recorded a few songs from Dave and The Crimebusters during their debut performance as a band.



Some of you may recall seeing Dave's countenance over the action during A View from the Bridge. He played the lawyer and voice of reason, Alfieri. He's a mighty talent and an even mightier friend and soul. Make sure you catch him next time he's playing solo or with the boys. He's an awesome person to know.

Brain Snapshot

What's on Rebecca's GreyZelda's clipboard:

1. Plan a company meeting, where we will talk about the following:

2. Fundraising. We need to hold a fundraiser or two before we put money down for a space and commit to a season. We could make a season of fundraising, in fact, because fundraising can be fun as well as draising.

3. Define draising, as GreyZelda sees it.

4. Add company members and redefine the job duties and company's mission. Willing to completely rework the company's goals. I know who I would like to invite, that's fo' sho'.

5. Redesign website and update GreyZelda's look and feel. Talk to Gene and Sarah about both.

6. Meet with Jessica Hutchinson again to discuss her ideas for directing a show for our future season.

7. Put the idea out there that we'd like to share a rehearsal space with another theatre company or group of artists. Check this one off the list because I just put it out there.

8. Come up with a web series using our new Flip Cameras. Interviews with company members, community collaborators, etc.

LET'S GET 'ER DONE, BZ.

Let's Definitely Say

"- And speaking of reality...let's say theatre is not dying...not even really ailing. Let's say that theatre will go on and on and on for all of human history on this planet. And let's say that it will look like this forever: there will be big fancy theatres that do shows and plays and whatnot and appeal to the widest audience with the bluntest objects they can find and there will be mid-sized theatres that ape the big theatres and there will be small theatres that do their own thing, some trying to be mid-sized theatres, some not and there will be little theatres struggling for oxygen, growing, blooming, dying in short bursts, all the time, all over. And that is what American theatre will be. And no blog, no book, no single theatre company is ever, ever going to change that. Let's say all of that. Then...as a wiser man than I once said, "What are you prepared to do?"

Remember, the first thing we all learn about theatre? It's about action."

- From 99seats

Quiet on the GreyZelda Front ...

... but we're looking to start producing again at the beginning of 2010 if not sooner.

You're welcome to head on over to Rebecca's blog, Terroristic Optimism, for day to day Zellar/Riter goings ons.

Clara kind of sorta says, "Hi."

Future Season Suggestions

Hey there, fearless reader(s) -

We hope you're doing swell and enjoying 2009 ... we're still taking it easy and are focusing on rearin' the little crow girl, Clara. You can read more about day to day happenings with Clara at Rebecca's blog, Terroristic Optimism, should you wish. She's pretty neat, if we do say so ourselves. And we do.

We've got a couple of ideas for future productions being considered. Yes, William Shakespeare, The Gentleman is totally being discussed. Stay tuned for a reading announcement. It's gold, Jerry. Gold. We also have another comedy in mind, too ... my, how lighthearted we're getting! A baby joins the ranks and all you want to do is make the people smile! Huh.

We'd like to open up the floor to see what you might like to see. What production would you like GreyZelda to put up? How do you think it would fit with our mission and general aesthetic? Are you a director with an idea? Are you a writer looking to find a theatre for your show? Are you an actor dying to act in your dream play? A designer with a grand scheme? We dunno. Talk to us. Let us know your thoughts.

You know who we'd really love to hear from? A composer looking to collaborate ... that's what we'd really like for Christmas, we think.

So, yes ... we're in thinktank mode. We're looking forward to brainstorming with you.

Yours,
GZ

The Year Remembered, or…The Time When I Overdosed on Spray Paint Fumes.

(Guest Post from C. Riter)

It always feels necessary when writing about the past that you portray some sense of newly found wisdom, self – knowledge previously unrealized, or that your soul has been touched with a slow revelation about the human condition, the struggle for enlightenment, etc, etc…blah blah blah. A lot of the time it feels like when I read, or write, these remembrances that there is a terminus. When recalling the year just lived you get a feeling that all learning, introspection, self-assessment and moving forward consciously suddenly halts and the screen goes blank and the dials are set to zero again. The reports are turned in to silent managers and accountants who record the earnings and dues in ledgers scrawled across pages with the forgotten memories of millions of others. The train has pulled in to Union Station of Memory. All riders must depart. Next train leaves tomorrow, first stop, Union Station of Id en route to Union Station of Plantar Wart.

I can't pretend to have any profound bits of personal awareness to share with other people this year. I haven't fooled myself into thinking that the big picture is a little more in focus after another three hundred and sixty five days and nights. That, in turn, makes me think that maybe I've never been much on the big picture anyway. It's not that I don't see it. I know it's there. I just don't give a fuck about looking at it right now. You see the problem is that there's so many damn people in front of me trying to see it too, pushing and shoving, being rude, wiping their noses then shaking your hand, elbowing you in the face then looking back as if their blank mongoloid expressions are supposed to convey an apology, or at least some humanity, then turning away again, eyeballs bulging to see it, necks craning, hands waving, dancing in some meaningless and hollow celebration. The importance, the purpose of it all is right there. For sale. Look at it, and keep looking. Maybe I'm some kind of Zen Nihilist. Anyway, all I can do is recall the last three sixty-five with as much clarity as is allowed by Mr. Evan Williams (have you heard I'm unemployed?).

The story Twenty-Ought-Eight began with a great last quarter of Twenty-Ought-Seven. I made some new friends and got back together with some old ones. My buddy Aris Tompulis took on Eddie Carbone for A View From The Bridge and my old friend, roommate, and collaborator from W.V. Ed French joined the GreyZelda ranks as the D.P. for the filmed portions of the show. I also got to know Ravin Dave Lykins, who played Alfieri, on a personal and professional level and feel like I've been a better person ever since because of it. We started rehearsing that October and filmed in the first week of November. The rest of the cast included new and old as well. Good old friends Tom Gordon and Dave Goss were paired with new friends Gene and Nicolle Van Dyke, Holly Micelli, and Kelly B. The show went up at StageLeft on January 3 to great responses from audience and reviewer alike. Heath Hays and Julie Ballard continued to impress Chicago with their work on set design and lighting respectively. Overall, I think it's the piece of directing work that I'm most proud of so far. But, I'm not one to spout on about my feelings of accomplishment, or my process. Rather, I look back in appreciation at the great work everyone involved put forth and am truly reminded about how symbiotically cool it is when collaborative art works out. We all benefit and become better from the endeavor. I am better for having been and worked with them. They've heard it before so I'll stop.

Here's where it gets a little crazy. Around this time we found out BZ was carrying our progeny. As my full-on partner in crime, BZ is always in the mix of things regarding our productions, but this go round she had stand back a little bit due to some unforeseen complications with the pregnancy. As it turns out, strenuous work isn't very good for pregnant mothers and a couple of days before opening night our little baby (just an embryo then, but how fragile these negligible moments seem later on, for she was very close to not being born at all) had become detached from her mothers uterine wall, the lifeline, the well to her life that was to be. That being said, BZ did everything humanly possible to handle all things administrative regarding the show, and as always performed swimmingly.

The big challenge was in April. BZ still had to direct The Skriker, a show that spanks Views l'il ass like a red head stump chile in terms of directorial commitment and vision. The good news is that she had Lisa Wilson to play The Skriker and that was probably one of the luckiest things GreyZelda ever had happen to her. Lisa completely made the show her own with what may be one of the most physically and mentally challenging roles put to paper. And again, BZ continues to teach me the art of directing when I work with her. Her ability to create vast and specific worlds out of blank, black spaces still intrigues me and makes me enormously envious of her ability. The cast for Skriker was also as lot of fun to work with and I enjoyed working two separate analogue two-scene pre-set boards to run the lights on. Because of that, I can say that for the first time, as a light board operator, I felt like I had an organic influence in the flow of every show…for better or worse.

Suffice it to say that Lisa leaving Chicago was a huge blow to GreyZelda. Never have we had a stronger supporter, collaborator, contributor, colleague, and friend than her. She will always be with us and welcome to come in and get dirty with it. BZ and I will miss her and her Beau Dave McCaul, who both moved to Seattle. Dave formed a band called SuperSideways that played in our basement once and is now posthumously remembered by such recordings as the one you can listen to on Chicago Acoustic Underground right here.

Also, the day preceding load-in for Skriker I ended up over-exposing myself to critical amounts of toxic fluorocarbons and lots of other just-plain-evil-and-malevolent shit contained in spray paint. See it was raining that day, and like I said, load in was the next day. The decorative wrought-iron that we used to create the antebellum looking proscenium for Skriker was, well – iron colored, and it needed to be white colored. So, I built a paint tent off of my back stoop with drop cloth held in place by clamps from the awning over the sidewalk and spray painted some wrought-iron, which were many pieces, for like…over an hour, or two. The thing about spray painting inside a tent, as I'm sure you can surmise, is that there's no place for the fumes to go. Unless you count inside my body. When I was finished, I had spray paint lining my nostrils and filling my mustache, presumably from the inhalation. I passed out for a second and decided maybe it was time to stop. I scrubbed my nose and mouth with Fast Orange, went inside and took a shower, almost lost control of some bodily functions, puked a little, listened to the wah wah wah wah wah sound in my head for a bit (like wippits, except not fun kids) and had to focus for a little while on how to use my legs for the walking function. The moral of the story folks, is, if you're going to spray paint for hours on end, do it in a ventilated area. That stuff about masks; useless, don't believe it. Unless you enjoy the aforementioned symptoms, then it's a real hoot so spray away and inhale deeply. Sorry, did I mention the headache sent from the torments of the worst hell ever envisioned? No? Oh, well, too late.

Later on, BZ had the baby and that story requires another set of blogging ambitions. The list of names included Delilah, Violet, Mina, Clara, and Virginia. Clara won and Virginia took second and got the middle name. I witnessed her arrival upon the surface of Earth with my own eyes on 08/23/2008 and saw BZ display more strength and resolve than I'd ever thought imaginable from such a delicate and tender creature….Who am I kidding? She's a powerwagon. But it was the most grueling thing I've ever seen someone endure and she'll forever have my respect and honor for it.

Clara is the most precious and wonderful thing that could happen to me. I'm constantly amazed at the look of pure innocence and joy her smile brings. She has created an entirely new inner world for me. The inner world that is my imagining her life, the kind of mind I wish for her, the ways I can help her attain it, the world-view she'll develop over time, how she'll interact with others…the way that I'll factor into all of these factors. Suffice it to say, I'm fulfilled by her. I feel like, no matter how big a piece of shit I think I am sometimes, she makes me feel worthy. I've never been happier in all my life and I owe it all to her.

Later in October, I got let go from my job because my presence was deemed no longer "mutually beneficial". That one still gets a chortle from me. Anyway, I got approved for unemployment benefits after six weeks of red tape and Kafkaesque bureaucratic nonsense and we got the whole family covered for insurance on AllKids (thanks Blago). Knock on wood, for awhile bills and necessities should be covered as long as we're frugal, which honestly, we were to begin with. In the meantime, I love being home with my little family. Seeing Clara everyday is a constant joy and Becky and I always entertain each other pretty well.

I've begun work on writing a new play about my drug-study days and hope to re-write Thimbleberry Gallows. I'm also building a model of a '41 Ford pickup and love watching the Blackhawks. Yep, I'm a fucking dork friends. Maybe we'll all just have to get used to it, or maybe, I've always been this way and nobody's ever let me in on it. Oh yeah, and some time in there my man Barack Obama swooped in and took back the executive branch in the name of sanity and all things good about America. So overall, despite some hardship, I'm feeling decidedly optimistic about the upcoming year.

For those I love and haven't seen for awhile, let's get together and drink some whiskey in a seedy Chicago bar soon, or at least just talk while I still have the time. For all the others; the ones forgotten, forsaken, and forgone; I wish you good luck going about your way. Just stay out of mine.

Best wishes and happy new year,

The O.G.

GreyZelda's Year in Review from a Mom's Bird Eye View

In attempting to lasso all my remembrances of 2008 I realized that, from January on, that this year has been all about Clara Virginia. She was born on August 23 and our world has been turned on its ear in the most wonderful ways. I'm going to write about GreyZelda from the only perspective I have these days, which is that of a new mom. I was pregnant during both of our shows this year so my outlook was quite a bit different. I warn you, dear readers, that the following might contain too much mom information for your liking and sensibilities, but ... that's the way I roll these days. I'm going to try to cajole Chris to write an entry about his reflections as well.

I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant with Clara at the beginning of January when we were moving A View from the Bridge into Stage Left Theatre. I had lunch with Rebekah at Pick Me Up Cafe, which is right across the street from Stage Left, while our respective husbands worked on getting the set up. She was the first person, other than Chris, that I told about the pregnancy and because we had had a wonderful day searching for last minute props at Target and Lost Eras, I was inspired to share the news. We talked about parents, theatre, babies and the future.



The play opened and we told a few more people that we were pregnant, but we had a scare during opening weekend which kept us mum from spilling the beans to everyone involved in the show. I had started bleeding heavily after helping out with the set and the load-in. One of our cast members was in the bathroom with me during intermission while I was silently freaking out and asked me what I thought of the acting that night ... the person, of course, was doing a wonderful job and I told the person so, but ... I had other concerns on my mind and was hoping that everything was ok...I probably sounded a little weird when I answered. I went to a fetal specialist the following day and discovered that the embryo had separated from the placenta but it was still fine and, with a few weeks of bed rest, it would most likely reattach itself to the uterine wall and would continue growing but there was still the chance of a miscarriage. Dear God. So, I had to excuse myself from helping out backstage and with box office. Thankfully, Melissa Kuhlmann filled that position almost every night and Lisa Wilson filled in when she couldn't. Holly Micelli rocked out as the Stage Manager and Chris did the lights, sound and video, so my help wasn't needed, to be quite honest. I just chilled at home, took reservations, managed Ovation Tix and attempted to produce the show as much as I could from behind the computer screen and on the phone. Clara, being the tenacious wonder that she is, reattached herself and the pregnancy continued as normal. I'm so thankful for the support of our friends and family during that time. It was pretty scary for me.

I was set to direct The Skriker in the spring but wondered if I would be able to do it. I had always wanted to be the type of pregnant woman who could do everything, but discovered that wasn't going to be the case. I really needed to take it easy and focus my energies on creating the healthiest baby I could. I wanted to keep myself cool as a cucumber and avoid the stresses that often accompany a production. I strengthened myself up mentally and, with the help of Chris and Lisa, I decided to go ahead and direct the show. We held auditions in February and selected an amazing group of ladies and one guy.



The rehearsal process went smoothly, the design staff was exceptional and my dear husband helped me keep my sanity during the whole process. I lost my cool a couple of times with folks not directly involved in the production and I could blame it on hormones being all over the place, but that seems too easy. I realized during my pregnancy that I didn't have much of a filter and I could say that I regret my actions but that would be lying. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I do it again to the extent I did it? Probably not. Do I feel like I should apologize for my actions? Not at this point. Would I like to move forward? Most definitely.

In June, we attended the Jeff Awards for the first time to celebrate Nicolle Van Dyke's nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Her portrayal of Beatrice in A View from the Bridge was so honest, so raw, so supportive and so touching. It was an honor to be with her that evening and I'm still elated that her first role in years garnered her a nomination from the Jeff committee. Melissa Kuhlmann and Tom Gordon also were there to support her, along with Gene, her husband, so we had a grand turnout from the GreyZelda peeps.



And, that, as they say was that in terms of mingling with the theatre community this year .... I did get a chance to see The Mammals'Clay Continent, Point of Contention's Radium Girls, Kat Daniels in a show at the Irish Heritage Center (can't think of the title right now ... I think my brain's still a little smaller from the pregnancy) and, of course, Our Town, which, like the rest of Chicago's audiences, I adored. I said to Chris before I left, "If I don't like this show and if it gives me the same 'meh' feeling I've gotten from so many other shows the last few years, than something's seriously wrong with me and I've lost my love of theatre." Our Town delivered, I was moved to tears and I couldn't stop gushing about it when I returned home. Thank you, David Cromer and The Hypocrites, for being that spark that reminded me why I am attracted to this art form.

Which leads me to the present and our future ...

Internally, we've shuttered the doors and windows for a spell. Lisa Wilson, a company member who was with us from One Flea Spare, moved to Seattle with dear Dave McCaul in August and that's created a pretty big void as she was a huge supporter and collaborator with the company as well as being a creative, driving, inspirational force of an artist and friend. We've got an incredible pool of actors, designers, etc who have helped keep our company strong, but we don't have the driving force to keep this going right now while I'm home rearin' our dear baby girl. Chris and I, in the meantime, are blowing off the dust from our Metamorphosis adaptation and our original play, The Thimbleberry Gallows. We're going to rework and take the editing knife to them. We might send the scripts out after we're finished to see if anyone would like to take a swing at producing them. Chris is also starting work on a play that's been rumbling around in his noggin for several years. There's been some very light talk of joining forces with another theatre company in town. Basically, it comes down to this: Chris and I have been a team and we've been able to to work and produce shows together. Now, we have a little girl on the scene that we want to devote the majority of our time to. In order to get things rolling theatrically again, we need another person who is willing to devote as much time and energy into the company as we have so that Chris and I can swap out responsibilities instead of doing the majority of the behind-the-scenes roles and responsibilities.

I'm not sure what 2009 holds for us at this point ... Chris lost his job in October and is still on the job hunt. I'm not quite ready to go back to work because I love being Clara's mom full time. We're going day to day, at this point, and hope that we have enough money from Chris's unemployment to pay our bills, rent, etc. So, thinking about what we're going to produce next is very far down on our list of priorities. I'm sure we'll figure out the balance and I hope that's sooner than later but, right now, we're just trying to survive and take care of Clara, who is a pure ray of happiness and fills our world with wonder and warmth.

In closing, I'd like to say that we hope that your Winter and Holiday Season proves to be merry and bright. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your friends. Enjoy your respective companies. Try to escape to the theatre when you get the chance. Support your local Storefront scene. Be there for each other and appreciate those that surround you. Give each other support, love and kind words.

It's been an incredible year and thanks for reading.

Blog Clouds

Nick Keenan was playing around with Wordle and I decided to follow suit.

For your viewing pleasure, I give you ....

Blog Clouds.

GreyZelda:



Terroristic Optimism:

Did you know ...

That Mary Shen Barnidge pointed out Heath Hays's tree set in The Thimbleberry Gallows as an Outstanding Achievement of 2005 for the Windy City Times?

Click here to check it out.

I didn't until recently when I googled the play to find some information for a friend.

Coolness.

Trees always dress up a place. You can see their loveliness up above there with Ms. Melissa Kuhlmann modeling in front with Julie Ballard's snazzy lights.

I'd really like to return to the play, edit the bejesus out of it and see what else we can do with it. Maybe remount it. Maybe send it out on the submittal process. Maybe give it a reading and have our respected peers give us a good whatfor to help us fix it up.

One of these days ....